One thing this trip is teaching me is how much anxiety holds me back. Critter travels all the time for work, so he's used to being alone in a big city. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone here. Yes, it would be easier to stay home and do what I'm used to doing. It's strange, because I love alone time at home. I relish peace and quiet. When traveling, though, I prefer to have someone with me. This is hard. Really, really hard. The class is hard, and being away from home is hard. I feel sick to my stomach every morning before class.
One of the big points of the workshop is to strive to get the big shape right before moving to smaller shapes and details. We are learning to correct as we go. Although, I know this intellectually, it's not as easy in practice. I have to learn to trust my eye more and rely less on constant measuring, although one still has to measure to ensure accuracy. I feel that this is more difficult for me because I am not a natural at drawing and I wonder whether my less than stellar vision plays a role. How do you trust your eye when you know your eyesight is not ideal?
Each morning I feel like going home. I know I should relish this opportunity, but I am a creature of habit. Even though I know I'm a total beginner with this method, it's not comfortable to feel so clumsy and inept. Have any of you felt this way about a class?
Oh yes, many times I've felt overwhelmed at a workshop. I attended one where the instructor was so overbearing the a couple of experienced artists, packed their easels and went home. I was the ONLY rank beginner in the class… so I didn't put very high expectations on myself… I remember the first 'critique' at the end of day one everyone had to go to the front of the class and show their paintings and then he told them all the 'mistakes' they made in the painting. I walk to the front of the room, and put my obvious beginner painting on the easel and said to him and the class, no need to point out my mistakes, this is the VERY FIRST watercolor painting I have ever done, and it isn't very good and I know that… but I'm proud to have taken step one to learn how to do this. Well the old man, softened up his attitude and was actually helpful to me the next day… So stick with it… you'll be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, Elaine. So glad that others have felt the same way. I'm feeling better and persevering.
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